i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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