Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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