"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
