Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
