YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i think my cat just said my name.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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