OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
