It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Vodka?
Forever.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
