You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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