Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
