i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
