I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
