Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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