good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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