I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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