My brain says no but my pants say off.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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