I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
