Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours

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(757): View more from Virginia

if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

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(765): View more from Indiana

4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.

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(302): View more from Delaware

stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that

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(231): View more from Michigan

You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".

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