My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
