imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
