yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
