I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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