THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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