After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
