Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
