I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize