bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
