I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
