No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
