i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize