so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
