My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
