i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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