im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
