that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.