I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We had to coat check the pizza.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
