she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.