worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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