dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
lol hangovers are for mortals.