Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
