Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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