that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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