don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I enjoy the company of your penis
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
