I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
