quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
