I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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