Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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