his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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