Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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