I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
