Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
