i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
