hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
