I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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