are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
