My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sponge bath it is.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
