I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't turn off my feet"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
