Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
