i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
