All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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