farters have to be the big spoon...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
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What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
MIDGETS
????
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize