i don't like sucking hair
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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