one two three fourrrrnication!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
