wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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