I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
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