I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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