Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
