Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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