You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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