just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
