I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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